fifteen Imago Conversation Techniques Imago Dialogue try a special three-step techniques having commitment, produced by Harville Hendrix, PhD and you can Helen LaKelly See, PhD. The 3 procedures are Mirroring, Validation and you may Empathy. Following the partners provides finished the three-step procedure, or if he’s got acquired in terms of they can (this action requires routine!), have the pair button spots thus for each and every companion becomes a go to send and you can located. The initial step: Mirroring step 1. Inquire you to definitely person in the happy couple, the brand new Transmitter, to send a message so you’re able to their/ the girl spouse having fun with We code you to delivers their/their opinion, feelings, or experiences. ( I’m, I favor, I need ) They have to stop shaming, blaming otherwise criticizing their lover, and you can as an alternative talk about on their own. dos. In response, inquire others user, the fresh Individual, to echo brand new Transmitter s content word for word otherwise by the paraphrasing, playing with a lead phrase including, Let me see if We ve got your. You told you. Encourage the Sender to split right up his/the girl message for the quick chunks when your Person is having an effective hard time mirroring they straight back truthfully. step three. Next, enable the Individual to inquire of Is there a whole lot more? 4. When the Sender states, Zero, you to s most of the, query the latest Receiver in conclusion everything new Transmitter told you: Very, in summary I heard your declare that Did I have they proper? 5. The fresh new Sender you will next state, Well you missed it bit also it s some crucial for me which you pay attention to they. Or concur that the fresh new Person got it all right. Step two: Validation Which part of the techniques can be quite hard in the event the each other people have very more position to the some thing. But to assist them hook, it s 15
Phrases to assist the couple together within procedure: Sender: I feel I really like I want Exactly what s harassing myself try Receiver: 1
16 IMAGO Couples Medication Having Tap Like, EDD important for per associate to determine just what their/their lover states is sensible. When you look at the dialogue, it doesn t matter that is best and you may who’s incorrect. step 1. Following Recipient provides described their/the woman companion, keep these things examine him/the girl by just proclaiming that is reasonable if you ask me. The new Person doesn t need agree, nevertheless the mission is always to reveal admiration with the other s fact. 2. If the Receiver can be, encourage him/the woman to go on: That renders experience if you ask me once the Step 3: Sympathy Inside finally step, your encourage the Individual to assume what their/the lady partner will be impression. You could help because of the asking the newest Receiver to use effortless words particularly resentful, sad, alone, frightened, happier, etcetera. step one. Inquire this new Recipient to say to his/the girl partner: We envision you may be impact and perhaps a little. Is that what you are feeling? dos. Next have the Sender right so it if it is not particular and you will show almost every other thoughts, using only I words: I really end up being or In addition be 3. Have the Individual mirror straight back people modification to show he/she read. Mirroring Let me see if We ve had you We read you say Am We delivering your? sixteen
Below are an outline of ideas on how to helps such actions that have one or two you’re working with
17 Did I have you to? Will there be more and more that? Allow me to find out if I’d almost everything. In the morning We getting your? Performed I have all of that? Is the fact a good bottom line? 2. Recognition You make experience if you ask me, and you can what makes feel are I am able to remember that given that I can observe how you’ll view it that way as either I do step 3. Sympathy We believe you may be feeling Is the fact that which you re feeling?